Painful relationship stories continue to increase due to narcissistic relationship dynamics. Now is the time to end this paradigm through victims taking proactive actions.
Related: What is relationship dynamics?
What is Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse consist of physical, emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation often unleashed by people with narcissistic personality disorder on their victims.
People with this personality disorder feel entitled to hurt others because they lack empathy and only care about themselves.
They also feel shame or low self worth, so they compensate by being grandiose and lashing out in the face of any criticism that may trigger negative feelings.
These days narcissists are just everywhere, they seem to have finally have the centre stage they have always craved, and it appears some people or probably narcissists are trying to get people to continue to enable their dysfunctional behaviour by changing the narrative by saying things like “What does our judgement of narcissism reveals about our humanity” by Michael Friedman PhD.
And my question: Does this in any way suggest that we should become enablers and allow narcissists to continue to operate in this manner, causing people pain, suffering and brokenness?
Narcissists make their victims vulnerable and cause them to walk on eggshells, they erode their confidence, demean them and make them to lose sense with reality.
They manipulate you with insult, threats, false accusation to make you afraid to get what they want.
They can’t take responsibility for their actions, with them everything is about subordination and competition, intensely aggressive, highly controlling and manipulative.
The ability to observe how others feel is the compassion that narcissists don’t have. They are emotionally unavailable to understand how you feel, to them it’s like accountability. They are not self aware and anything that stands a person out is a threat to a narcissist and the next thing that follows is competition.
What are the signs of narcissistic abuse?
1. Control: Narcissists control their victims with debasing words, they refer to them with derogatory remarks and call them names, they are miserable and sad, they hate it when others are happy, they tend to control how you should feel in a relationship with them.
1. Violating boundaries: Narcissists don’t respect boundaries because they don’t take no for an answer, they always have their way irrespective of how others feel.
2. Gaslighting: Narcissists will tell you something which is normal to believe and trust when someone tell you something but they will turn around and make you feel like you are imagining things or crazy, claiming they never said that.
3. Compel you to go against your will to do their bidding.
4. Manipulation. They will cloud your sense of reasoning with confusion, and manipulate your perception of reality, twisting things to screw you up.
5. They idealize and devalue you and also triangulate you to get you jealous.
6. Narcissists physically assault or attack those close to them. They also attack them with verbal abuse.
7. Some narcissists kill their victims either during a fight or intense argument and there is always domestic violence in a relationship with a narcissist.
How to know if you are a victim of narcissist abuse
1. Sadness: You know that there is something wrong in your relationship with that man or woman, you feel sad, you can’t figure out the problem and you wish you could change it but you can’t.
7. Panic and heart attacks.
8. World wary.
Narcissists are people who constantly need administration, approval and validation, it is extremely difficult for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist to cope because their gaslighting and manipulation will take a toll on you as you continue in the relationship. It is intensely detrimental to your mental health.
If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, there are a few steps you can take to break free and commence your healing process.
1. Talk to a therapist.
2. Seek help
3. Make your exist plans quietly.
4. Engage in meditation to clear the confusion and gain clarity in order to see the reality for what it is.
5. Separate yourself emotionally from the narcissist. You can do this by focusing on the pain he has caused you so you don’t give in when he start to hover you back.