Who is a narcissist
A narcissist is someone who is in love and obsessed with his own image, he is full of admiration for himself and does not see anyone else as worth anything. He is egoistic, entitled, controlling and highly manipulative. A narcissist has low self esteem, mean, selfish and lack confidence and because of that they prey on people and do bad things to gain power and control.
What do we mean by a narcissistic mother
A narcissistic mother is a narcissist and a mother who has a personality disorder who treat her children and others as worthless fools, they are full of drama and often cause pain to her children and others. Narcissistic mothers are essentially controlling, toxic and always gaslighting people. They devalue their children and make them feel less human, they have no love, no regard for others’ feelings, they don’t validate their children and don’t even know if their children have feelings, and often refer to them with derogatory names such as fools, animals. They don’t show love nor listen to the children’s emotional needs, no empathy and so treat people with cruelty and hostility.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are generally unhappy and miserable and they project this their dysfunctional behaviour on others, this is how a narcissistic mother unleash her terrible behaviour and drama on her children, lashing out, raging and yelling at them whether they have done something right or wrong.
Who is the golden child
In every family where the mother is a narcissist, there is always the mother’s Golden child and the Scapegoat.
The golden child is the mother’s favourite child and the scapegoat is often the child hated by the mother.
How does a narcissitic mother treat her golden child
The golden child is praised and valued by the mother, he or she is never wrong and always receives the approval of the mother in everything, he get whatever he wants and always being treated as the special child.
However, when the golden child identifies his position in the family or in his mother’s heart as special, he begins to dictate the pace of others and become controlling and overbearing to others in the family, gradually becoming a narcissist like his mother preying on others.
Who is the scapegoat
The scapegoat is resented by the mother and he or she is never right, he is treated with contempt and hate, he is often condemned and blamed for everything and even for the wrongful deeds of the golden child, he is never given love, listened to or validated. The scapegoat is like a slave in the family, often compelled to serve the golden child and others, nobody listens or pay attention to the emotional needs of the scapegoat leaving him or her feeling vulnerable, afraid, lonely and rejected.
Fortunately, the scapegoats usually turn out to be people with great ambitions who work hard for themselves and in most cases become more responsible, influential and prosperous than the golden child.
Mother’s love is extremely important in the life of everyone. And when this love is never received even when we become adult, we continue to long for it because the memories and pain remains and even in adulthood the feeling never completely goes away, the yearning for mother’s love continues. When we show and treat our children with love, we are laying the foundation for how they will love and treat the people they will have in their lives in future, love heals and it is the medicine for the ills of mind kind.
There is really no need to love one or some of your children and treat them well and also treat others with resentment. Love them as children and equally too, even when you have soft spot for some others shouldn’t be treated with hatred.