You Lack Confidence If You Act In This Manner



Have you ever felt like all your friends  seem super confident and you’re just trying to blend?

You’re not alone, we all feel that way sometimes.


But did you know that confidence is not only about how you feel inside yourself but also how others perceive you?


Sometimes, the way we behave create the impression that we are not confident.


1. What is confidence?

2. What are the signs of lack of confidence?

3. How do you differentiate a person with confidence from a person with lack of confidence?


What is confidence

Confidence is a positive emotion of trust and feeling secure in yourself and your abilities. Confidence is not about feeling superior to others, rather, it’s a quiet inner knowledge that you are capable.

However, a person may have confidence and still act in ways that could make them seem less confident.

Don’t worry though – knowing what these things are is the first step to changing them.

What are the signs of lack of confidence


1. You Apologize All The Time

In some parts of the world where parents have over-bearing influence over their children because of their cultural beliefs, children approach their parents in every situation that requires communication with an apology.

Well, to them it’s more like the easiest, other than that, saying sorry all the time, even when it’s not needed, can make you come across as less confident.

It might seem like you’re always feeling guilty or like you’re doing something wrong.

For instance, if you apologize every time you share your opinion or ask a question, it can give the impression that you’re not sure of yourself.

Well, it’s okay to apologize when you’ve made a mistake or wrong.

But if however, you’ve done nothing wrong, there’s no need to say sorry.

Standing your ground and knowing when to apologize and when not to is a key sign of confidence.

2. People who lack Confidence Constantly Avoid Eye Contact.

Whatever feeling or emotion is called for, your eyes actually send the message, people trust the message your eyes are sending than the words you say.

Our eyes can say a lot about us, and when we avoid eye contact, it often means we’re feeling unsure or nervous

When you’re talking to someone and you constantly look away or look down, it might seem like you’re not confident in what you’re saying.

The use of eye contact make the person listening to you tie right in with you while you speak.

Eye contact is important because it shows that you’re engaged in the conversation and that you’re listening to the other person.

It also shows that you’re comfortable with who you are and what you’re saying.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, try to maintain good eye contact.

This doesn’t mean staring without blinking, but rather keeping your gaze steady while still looking away naturally every now and then.

3. You’re Speaking Too Fast

Talking too fast can give the impression that you’re nervous or unsure of yourself.

It’s like your words are trying to keep up with your racing thoughts, and it can make it hard for people to follow what you’re saying.

This is a common phenomenon that happens to all of us including myself  when I first started public speaking, I’d get so nervous that my words would just tumble out in a rush.

I’d finish a 10-minute speech in 5 minutes, leaving my audience confused than excited.

Over time, I learned that it’s okay to slow down, take a breath, and speak at a natural pace.

Not only did it make me seem more confident, but it also made my words more impactful.

4. You Second-Guess Yourself

Confident people trust their instincts and decisions. If you’re always second guessing yourself, it can give the impression that you’re not very confident.

This doesn’t mean that confident people never have doubts, but they don’t let these doubts control their actions or decisions.

Second-guessing yourself can actually make your performance worse.

When we doubt our abilities, we tend to make more mistakes and are less creative.

So the next time you catch yourself second-guessing, take a step back and remind yourself of your abilities and past successes.

Trust your instincts and make a decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, it’s all part of the learning process.

5.  Those Without Confidence are People Pleasers

Being a people pleaser isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it shows that you’re considerate and care about others’ feelings.

However, if you’re constantly violating your rules and bending backwards to make others happy at the expense of your own needs and desires, it can come across as a lack of confidence.

It’s almost like you’re saying your needs don’t matter as much, or you’re scared of expressing what you really want and desire.

This can lead to feeling unfulfilled and even resentful in the long run.

It’s important to remember that your feelings and needs are just as valid as anyone else’s.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean being selfish or rude – it simply means respecting and valuing yourself. It’s okay to say no sometimes, and it’s okay to put yourself first.

This doesn’t mean you care any less about others, it just means you’re also caring for yourself – and that’s a sign of true confidence.

6. It’s Hard for You To Accept Compliments Gracefully

This is something most people actually struggled with.

Whenever someone would compliment you, Y’d brush it off or downplay it. Instead of a simple “thank you”, Y’d say something like “Oh, it’s nothing” or “I’m not that good”.

I myself, it took me a while to realize that not accepting compliments gracefully was actually a sign of low confidence.

Down playing compliments is like saying to people that their positive opinion of you was wrong or that you didn’t deserve the praise.

Learn to accept compliments graciously. When someone compliments you, just smile and say “thank you”

So remember, the next time someone gives you a compliment, don’t brush it off – accept it with grace and gratitude.

7. You’re  Always Comparing Yourself to Others

We all fall into the comparison trap sometimes. We see someone with a better job, a nicer car, a more “perfect” family, and we start to feel like we don’t measure up.

But here’s the raw truth: comparing ourselves to others is a one-way ticket to feeling inadequate and less confident.

No matter how successful or happy someone else may seem, remember that everyone has their own struggles and insecurities. They’re just not always visible.

I used to admire a particular family so much in the past. At some point I wished my family was like theirs, but when l learned about their struggles, it was then I took the saying! “Not all that glitters is gold” seriously. l learned to accept all I have with gratitude.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress and growth.

Celebrate your small wins and learn from your setbacks.

Your journey is unique to you and that’s what makes it special.

So stop looking over your shoulder and start appreciating the path in front of you!

8. You Are Afraid to Take Risks

Risk is a game of chance. Confident people aren’t afraid to take risks.

They understand that failure is a part of life and that it’s better to try and fail than not to try at all.

On the other hand, if you’re always playing it safe and avoiding any kind of risk, it can make you seem less confident.

So, don’t shy away from taking risks. Whether it’s making a bold career move, trying a new hobby, or simply speaking up in a meeting – don’t let fear of failure hold you back.

Remember, it’s through taking risks that we grow and learn the most.

9. You’re Always on the Defensive

This is the problem of most of us. I used to exhibit this behaviour a lot, especially when I was younger.

Whenever someone would disagree with me or offer constructive criticism, I’d automatically get defensive.

I’d try to justify my actions or argue, instead of taking a moment to consider their point of view.

What I didn’t realize back then was that being defensive was actually a sign of low confidence.

Doing that means you are so insecure about your ideas or actions and any form of criticism would feel like a personal attack.

Learned to be more open to feedback.

When someone disagrees with you, try to understand their perspective instead of instinctively defending yours.

If they have a valid point, acknowledge it. If not, respectfully explain your viewpoint to them, life is about perspectives.

Confident people aren’t afraid of criticism or disagreement – they see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.

10. You Avoid Taking Care of Yourself yet get resentful and jealous when you meet those who care about their looks.

This might be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s the honest truth: if you’re not taking care of yourself, it can come across as a lack of confidence.

Whether it’s neglecting your physical health, ignoring your mental wellbeing, or just not taking time for self-care, these all send a message that you don’t value yourself enough.

Let’s be sincere; You can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you’re always putting others first and neglecting your own needs, it’s going to take a toll on your confidence.

Don’t ignore, make self-care a priority. Eat well, exercise regularly, take breaks when you need them. Your body and mind will thank you, and so will your confidence levels.

11. Lack of confidence can make you not to speak up when it’s necessary.

Do you know that there’s something incredibly liberating about speaking your mind and standing up for what you believe in? But if you’re always silent, always holding back, it can make you seem less confident.

Sure we’ve all been in situations where we’ve bitten our tongue and later wished we’d spoken up. And the regret that comes with it can be a major blow to our self-confidence.

So when you feel like speaking up – do it! Yes, it might be scary and yes, not everyone might agree with you.

Don’t forget, your voice matters. Your opinions are valid. And speaking up is one surefire way to show yourself and the world that you’re confident in who you are and what you believe in!


3. How to differentiate a person with confidence from a person without confidence.

All we have listed above are what constitutes lack of confidence.

Now let me add a few words to show how people with confidence feel like.

1. Confident people are positive and enthusiastic.

2. They are ever ready to unlearn and relearn.

3. They seek for more knowledge, and continue training themselves and practice more.

4. They accept their body and mind (Self esteem) and believe in their abilities and skills.

Learn to believe in yourself, you are enough. It’s never too late to fix what lowers your confidence and be the best you can be.




























Thoughts are highly creative, guide them well:The creative power of your thoughts.



1. Taking responsibility for our thoughts creation

2. Understand your co-creative ability

3. Effect of negative thoughts


All the things around us are a product of thought, they emanate from thought both positive and negative thoughts. We are all creators of reality and are constantly creating all the things we are experiencing.

Unfortunately, our highly creative thoughts sometimes create dysfunction too.

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Taking responsibility for our thoughts creation

Humans are highly co-creative beings. We create our life situations and experiences, we are independently creating our reality, sometimes by default and other times consciously by the thoughts we think. Newton’s Third Law of Motion is the golden rule, it states that ” For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction” This law is actually the ‘law of nature’ and originally a spiritual concept. Christ in his message of redemption said: “As a man thinks and so it is.” Our thoughts affect all outcomes. The thoughts we hold in our awareness and project create circumstances and situations that affect ourselves and others.

Negative thoughts create dysfunction and positive thoughts create beneficial outcomes and fascinating experiences. Well, it is important to guide our thoughts and also think positive thoughts because all we bring into reality comes back to us and only us can suffer the consequences of our thoughts and actions.

According to science, humans think on the average of sixty thousand thoughts per day approximately. Think about it, now, if all the thoughts we think are mostly positive and empowering, we will constantly produce more good than dysfunction and chaos. Our negative thoughts are also creating repeated patterns and experiences we are not comfortable with just as our good thoughts unleash our highest potential. However, we are creating cause and effect and experiencing altogether at the same time and in the same space.

We must learn to take responsibility for creating dysfunction with our thoughts, focus and actions. Unfortunately we constantly projects and perceive what others are doing that is affecting us but blind to the perversion of our individual creative abilities, causing pain and suffering wherever we find ourselves sometimes and in different ways.

Understand your co-creative ability

Whatever we focus on we create more of it because whatever we give attention has the potential to expand. If you have a thought in your mind and gradually become obsessed with it there is the tendency that your focus will start to increase the momentum, and this is usually accompanied by feeling and the next thing that follows is the action plan and how to execute it in reality and the result or outcome of this whole thing will determine whether the thought was positive or negative.

Effect of negative thoughts

We sometimes get deluded into believing that when we embark on a task and fail, some malevolence force is responsible for our failure, the known force that often holds us down is the negative thoughts we hold within us, the negative thoughts others hold within them, direct them concerning that project and inaction on our own part. But if you hold firm to your reality and believe, taking action to achieve it you manifest your desire. If we are not aware that we are in the lead position of our lives, we become hypnotized by this delusion and our lives begin to appear haphazard to us. Every thought we hold within consciously or unconsciously is sending out energy vibration into the world. The moment we release these thoughts into the universe and move to action we have sent a signal, an energy informing the universe of our intention which will most certainly become a thing, if we vibrate on a high frequency, believing the universal power that abides in all things, trusting the higher order, what we send out also attract the like back to us and sometimes we create and manifest them by default.

Guide your thoughts to create only those things that are useful to humanity.

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Meditation ls The True Way to Spiritual Consciousness

There are different many ways of communion with the source we recognise as God according to individual religion and beliefs system. One of the most effective and profound ways of communion with the father is through Meditation.

1. What is Meditation

2. The Benefits of Meditation

3. How to meditate

4. How to open the 3rd eye with meditation


What is Meditation

Meditation is a way of relaxing the body through breath and transforming the mind to enhance concentration, clarity and focus. Meditation help us to become more conscious, it is a mental exercise, it does to the mind what physical exercise does to the body.

However, spiritually, there are certain functions meditation perform in the lives of individuals that helps to expand their spiritual awareness. It creates a portal of communication between individuals who engages in it with God.

The benefits of meditation

Meditation has been proven by science to dissipate fear including the fear of death.

It transcends the ego: Meditation is a practice that unveil the truth, it unmask the force self which many people dwell on and act through it. Many people don’t know how to be themselves, some dwell on drugs or alcohol to gain confidence to perform a task, others depend on their ego mask to avoid being vulnerable. Meditation will take you home to yourself to discover who you are and that includes being vulnerable to realise on a deeper level the essence of your being and why you are here.

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It creates equanimity/calmness: Meditation will prevent you from always throwing a tantrum and reacting in an unhealthy way. You would be able to embrace even the most uncomfortable emotions and calmly resolve them.

It induces sleep and heal the body: Meditation involves taking repeated breath, and so enables the body to completely relax and that helps to induce deep sleep, and regular deep sleep heals the body.

It reduces anxiety and depression: Meditation affect the mind in enormous ways. The breathing in and out which is a necessary part of meditation alone helps in the expansion of the heart muscle, preventing anxiety, depressive state, and inducing peace.

It induces unusual experiences such as activating the Pineal gland which produces DMT, a chemical linked to creativity, dreams and hallucinations. It helps you also become self actualised.

The Spiritual Benefits of Meditation includes:

Providing people with the medium form in which the soul can be expressed.

It raises the level of vibration of the physical body and connects you with the infinite, the source of all lives we call God.

It activates the seven energy light centers of the body and induces happiness.

There are different types of meditation and different ways in which we can meditate. A person can also be guided to meditate to enhance focus and concentration.

How to meditate

Meditation is used to achieve and accomplish tasks and also resolve any issues we are faced with. It is an effective way to resolve any problem or get the best out of any situation.

To meditate, we must first and foremost sit in a comfortable position. Though people take different positions where they feel comfortable, I personally lye down to meditate.

During meditation we focus on five words, no one is restricted to this, you can take your focus to whatever you prefer.

Love, forgiveness, compassion, visualization, gratitude and blessings.

Ensure there is absolute silence, if there is distraction it’s hard to concentrate, gently close your eyes and be in intense presence.

Take a deep breath slowly through the nose with your mouth closed and exhale through the mouth. Do that five times to enable your body relax.

Take your attention to the five senses, focus on your eyes with breath, then your ears, nose, mouth and your hands and legs.

Think of anything you love, it can be anything focus on it and give it love and receive the love as well.

Empathise with those who have offended you and those you have offended.

Imagine anyone you have wrong and ask for forgiveness, asking them to release you by forgiving you. You must also forgive whoever has wrong you too.

Think of anything you desire, and imagine a TV set in front of you, focus on it and see yourself with that which you desire. This will induce a kind of feeling within you, allow yourself to feel so your desire can manifest. Each of these should be done with regular breath.

Note that there is no rational thinking when it comes to meditation. It doesn’t matter whether you are in a state of lack and feeling miserable, do not focus on what you don’t have, focus on what you want, the universe conspires and bring you people, situations and circumstances to get you whatever you want. Be in alignment and allow everything to flow, avoid being in a state of reactivity and surrender to whatever comes naturally.

The benefits of meditation are enormous, it is purpose unfolding capable of transforming your life almost immediately.






Overcoming the Incubus and Succubus Spirits


This appears to be the most difficult and the most dangerous spirit troubling men and women and causing distruction in many marriages and indeed difficult to surmount.

What are incubus and Succubus spirits

Many people are having various degrees of problems ranging from infertility and troubled marriages to illnesses because they have had  sexual encounter in their dreams with a male or female demonic spirit.

The word incubus is a Latin word ‘incubo’ meaning a ‘nightmare’ or what ‘lies down on someone while asleep’ induced by a male demonic spirit to a sleeping woman. The incubus is in the habit of raping women during sleep. This phenomenon happens in different forms, a woman who is supposedly sleeping, can feel the presence of a male pressing her on the chest or having sexual inter course with her while having the sensation of being awake. Although the incident can induce fear and anxiety but women who have had such sexual encounter claim is the most exhilarating sexual experience they have ever had.

While a Succubus is the female demonic spirit like the male that seduce men while asleep and have inter course with them. These are what we generally refer to as spirit husband and spirit wife. This however, has been a major problem in failed marriages, because these invisible spirit man and woman who often rape their victims come to interfer in people’s intimate relationships and marriages wrecking havoc and causing distruction in order to separate couples and take over the relationship. They are intensely jealous and because of that they tend to cause confusion once one party has allowed them to have access to his or her body either through sexual involvement with the wrong person.

Why they are a disturbing issue

Oftentimes, people who are involved in such spiritual sexual encounters and relationships or marriages are not even aware they have a spirit husband or wife that causes problems for the actual physical or human spouse. This issue is not restricted to certain persons, it can affect anyone, those marine spirit violates people’s boundaries, they don’t need anyone’s consent to invade their bodies, both married and single men and women suffers it. Married women who are affected by this phenomenon experiences several miscarriages alongside financial problems and sometimes barrenness.

What are the signs of being under the influence of this spirit

Having multiple sexual partners is a sure way of inviting an incubus or succubus to your life or your family to cause destruction. They can also be attracted unknowingly through visiting or moving from one spiritual home or church to another in search of miracles, and also careless habits and ignorance. Anyone can be a victim. But the most attractive quality that draws a spirit husband or wife to a person is beauty. “Sex appeal” is the easiest way in which they find their way to their victims. The more beautiful or handsome you are, the higher your chances of being entrapped by a spirit wife or husband. You literally become a target. If you are attractive as a woman or as a man, you will hardly escape these spirit entities because they are moved by fair and beautiful appearance unless your body is kindle with divine light that is illuminating and constantly radiating in you. Just as your friends appreciates and admires your natural beauty  and allure, and are attracted to you, so do those spirit entities are attracted to you too because of your stunning appearance. If you suspect that you or your husband is having spirit entities troubling you or sexually harassing or exploiting you during sleep, you are not alone. This should be handled with utmost seriousness because it is one of the issues that are difficult to overcome. Walking alone in the night or during odd hours and bathing in the stream or river at night draws their attention to you.

You may have a spirit husband or wife if you dream of having regular sexual inter course with one or two people.

You feel or dream of the presence of someone sleeping between you when you are either with your spouse or boyfriend.

If you are a woman you always dream of sleeping together with someone who is not physical with you.

You dream of living another life either in the sea or somewhere else and having a family or children.

You always dream and see yourself at the seaside or swimming and many more other scenarios. These things are not physical but they are real and you may wonder how you could possibly be used without your conscious awareness but you feel it in your psyche which however can be a little confusing and doubtful, this is absolutely real and it is done through telepathy.

How to overcome spirit entities.

The only true way of surmounting this demonic spirit/energy is through “Meditation and Visualization”. Being in alignment with God and honouring your body as a divine temple is an effective way to prevent those evil spirits from invading your space.

Prayers alone only offers a temporary solution. Some people perform certain rituals and prepare food and other sweetened items to appease them in the hope that they will leave them alone after that unfortunately, all of that does not stop them from messing with their bodies when they sleep.  This demonic spirit wife and husband are extremely stubborn, they are powers and principalities in high places that requires a higher consciousness/ awareness and prayers to overcome. You cannot solve a problem from the consciousness that created the problem. Therefore Meditation and visualisation are higher levels of consciousness that destroys lower consciousnesses by doing the following:


1. Take any position and be in silence meditation and close your eyes. Take deep breaths repeatedly.

2. Imagine a television set hanging in front of you on the wall.

3. Visualize your body on that TV set and visualise yourself sending  light from the top of your head to the entire body, the light will locate where the attachment between you and that spirit entity is.

4. Imagine the image of that spirit you want to battle with.

5. Visualize the image with your mind’s eye on an imaginary television on your wall.

6. With the power of your mind and your eyes closed, send a surge of light to that spirit and the light will consume it. Do this for a week and the problem will be over.

Succubus and incubus are dangerous demonic spirits that attaches themselves to humans to sexually exploit and disempower them spiritually in order to destroy them. Activate your energy light centers and learn to use your divine power as a shield against all invisible spiritual threats.









Narcissists: Masters of Deception

1. Narcissistic deception, how does it play out?

2. Narcissistic deception can be identified by paying attention to their behaviour

3. Narcissistic red flags, what are they?

Narcissist feels good when the words they alter hurt others because that gives them a sense of relief and this is one of the ways they take revenge on their victims. People who struggle with narcissistic personality disorder suffer greatly and often have a feeling of shame and defensiveness.

Things Narcissist enjoy, healthy people don’t. Due to their emptiness and low self-worth, they fantasize frenzy and are addicted to admiration, they are highly conflicted unpredictable individuals who are extremely jealous and competitive and always need people in order to regulate themselves.

Narcissistic deception, how does it pay out?

Narcissists are masters of mind games. To them life is a game. Therefore they toy with people’s emotions and exploits their empathic ability and vulnerability. At the beginning of their relationship with anyone, they tend to idealise their victims by making them feel important by the treatment they offer them and soon begin to threaten to leave them which is a way of gaslighting them into feeling uncertain.

Although it can be alluring getting into a relationship with a charming narcissist because they appear to have an overwhelming sexual chemistry with their victims, that is why every victim of narcissistic relationship finds it difficult to let them go and even when they attempt to do so the narcissistic always have a way of getting them or hoovering them back. They are skilled at preying on their victim’s vulnerability and always emotionally unavailable creating a sense of frustration on their victims.

When they hurt their victims, they however play the victim and accused them of doing terrible things to him, they project their negativity and what they do to others and accused them of doing to him.

Narcissistic deception can be identified by paying attention to their behaviour.

A narcissist would tell you something and soon after when you ask them the same thing, they immediately deny it. They delight in lying and lie for no just reason. They are experts at manipulation. They manipulate to create confusion in order to cloud their victim’s sense of reality. However, to be able to catch the narcissistic on his lies, you have to start playing close attention to his behaviour and observing how he relate to the people around him. Remember that narcissistic people have double personality, they are usually not the same in every situation, they take on identity that fits every occasion because they are good at pretending to be what they are not just to delude people so they don’t get to know the real person behind the mask of deception.

They are serial cheats and unable to maintain healthy relationships. To engage in intimate relationship with multiple women is a normal phenomenon with a narcissist.

Narcissistic red flags what are they?

Narcissistic red flags are the nudge about their abnormal dysfunctional and negative behaviour which victims of narcissistic relationship often ignore when the narcissist unexpectedly have a sudden outbursts and react in a way that shows his real personality particularly at the early stage of the relationship. At this stage, victims often make excuses for the bad behaviour, putting up defences and protecting the narcissist against any criticism but this abnormal behaviour becomes more visible after the love bomb stage of the relationship.

A red flag can be a verbal abuse, name calling or being liken to an object or inanimate thing. It starts with an insult and gradually move to a yell to a slap and eventual domestic violence. Lack of financial support, gaslighting and extreme restriction and isolation are all red flags.

Focus on the ideals and reject what does not feel right in the relationship. Do not violate your fundamental principles for reasons not clear and ensure to establish firm boundaries, narcissists are known to always violate boundaries, above all, pay attention to how they treat you and how they treat others, this will help to understand the nature of the person you are dealing with for your own safety and protection. Deception is their ground game in all their relationships, beware and pay close attention.









What is codependency

Codependency is a survival strategy. It is a way of seeking validation by being nice to others, it is a skill individuals who did not received emotional care, approval and love during childhood develop to care for others in order to receive praise to feel validated and needed. This however provide them with a relief and tend to soothe them emotionally.

Causes of codependency

Seeking to care for others is a way to secure attachment, even if it is unhealthy attachment. The codependent lack compassion, empathy and love as children, in adulthood they start to engage in certain behaviour to enable them cope. Codependents feel it’s their responsibility to make others happy and to fix their lives. You may not recognise how emershed you have become and how lost you are to the needs of others.

Codependency can result from emotional, physical and sexual abuse. You either grew up in an alcoholic home for example, children of alcoholics- your parents or one of your parents is a narcissist.

You were often punished for expressing an emotion.

You may have grew up in a home where other of your relatives were indifferent to you.

You come from a turbulent, unstable home where parents were always involved in raging and shouting matches.

You were raised in placement and unstable homes like foster care. Or

You had codependent parents who were playing out this codependent and narcissistic pattern and enabling dynamic.

You have abandonment trauma, you were probably abandoned or exposed to unhealthy practices or you were sexually exploited by your care giver, maybe one of your parents left when you were very young, either your mother separated from your father or your father divorced your mother, whatever the case maybe, you feel a sense of abandonment, you may have been abandoned by someone you love.

You grew up from an unsafe unpredictable home with your parents yelling at you at the slightest provocation, or that there was no money to meet your basic needs or that you were ignored and had no one to nurture you and show concern about your emotional needs.


Codependency traits

Codependency is a way of finding a  sense of worth. We often don’t feel good about ourselves, we look to others to make us feel good, our happiness is actually tied to something in the third world, our sense of self is tied to something outside of us.

1. Always apologizing even when you are not wrong is a sign of codependent behaviour.

2. Saying yes to the needs of others when it’s not convenient for you.

3. Begging to be accepted or approved of.

When a codependent jump to accept the role to take care of other people, they are  taking the right of others to learn to take care of themselves. On a healing path, when you start saying no, you are going to loose validation, people stop seeing you as a nice person though it’s difficult but hang in there because it does get better. Awareness is key, it helps in healing. Raise your level of consciousness and merge the polarities of light and dark within us to stop creating karmic patterns of the pass, karma is pattern of cost and effect.

How to stop being codependent

1. Self love is key. Identify what you love most about yourself.

2. Acknowledge the codependent pattern within you.

3. Get clear about your childhood, you must acknowledge how your unconscious parents raised you and how that caused the why you show up in the world. How was it like growing up? Were you validated or ignored? Did you witness domestic violence by your parents growing up? Were you sexually abused? Were your parents narcissistic or codependents? Did your parents struggle with drugs and alcohol? What did you witnessed in your childhood?

4. Allow people to suffer the consequences of their actions, don’t jump into helping when it’s not necessary and stop being the heroes of other people’s lives because we don’t feel good in our own skin.

Feeling good in solving other people’s problems is not a healthy way to live.

5. Make a list of the people you are enabling and the times you wanted to say no and you said yes, reframe the conversation and stop playing back unhealthy dynamics. Codependency is an addiction. Raise your conscious awareness around your co-dependence behavior.

6. Develope strategies that can help you shut that out, stop trying to become what other people want you to be. Your care giver at your early childhood were highly critical and abusive. You weren’t able to have your own reality and losing yourself in the process, two polarities now we’re trying to reconcile and integrate them.

Childhood emotional problems are issues that if not properly managed affect how we show up in the world in  adulthood. It is therefore important for parents to nurture their children and pay close attention to their childhood emotional needs to enable them develop a sense of self and worth to impact on their self confidence and purpose for living.



Universal Life Force is Secret to wealth: Connect Now


What is universal Life Force

Universal life energy is cosmic energy, it is a strong energetic force, it’s released from the universe itself, this force can be harnessed into our being so we can utilize it for our own good.

How can we connect to it

This energy is always flowing in us, but we may not be able to utilize it for our ultimate good if we are too attached to form and always in resistance of what is. To connect, we must learn to let go of the desire to force things to be the way we want. We must practice acceptance and learn to surrender, allowing things to unfold and manifest naturally.

It is also necessary to practice mindfulness and let go of limiting beliefs. It is important to meditate and let go of the believe in separation, for all are united by a common humanity and all emanate from the same source power that created all things in existence. It is essential to harness your energy light centers and always be in nature to enable you recharge yourself.

How do we become successful by connecting to it.

We do not need concentration or strong mental efforts to contact the life vibrations. All we need to do is to become conscious of their continual flow in us to establish the contact. The easiest and simplest way of contacting universal life energy is through mental contact. Simply think the words “I am one with universal life energy. It is flowing through me now. I feel it” and feel it. Relax physically, mentally and emotionally and feel harmony within you. When you’re in that state, the power is flowing through you.

To relax at will takes practice. Feel the feeling physically as comfortable and as much at ease as you can. Relax your mind as much as possible. Try not to think of anything but just to sense rest, peace, and when the condition is attained, then enter mentally into silence, try to silence your mind, let there be silence within your own self for a while, all impulses, desires and even thought. The relaxation and silence will rest your body and mind to open them to the flow of life energy. Practice will enable you to enter the silence instantaneously.

The conscious contact with universal life energy, once established, remains for a considerable amount of time. Therefore your energy-power will last for a while as you go about doing things and experiencing good success with them. You don’t always have to consciously charge yourself all the time because that will cause an imbalance. You want your energy circuit to run by itself and only recharge at appropriate times. Re-establishing the mental contact three or four times a day would be the optimal way.

Connecting with life force energy can help us explore the energy of the universe to expand, to become successful when we harness it.






Power of Being a Creator of Reality


Who are creators of reality

We are all creators by default. All individuals are by nature creators of their reality, but this is creating out of awareness and because of this lack of awareness, we often create and bring into existence dysfunctions. Reality actually has to do more with the way we think and perceive things. All things are neutral until we act on them including our thoughts and feelings. If we are conscious of the fact that we are creating our reality moment by moment, our life situations and circumstances are a product of our thoughts, beliefs, actions and the vibrations we ruminates with, we will begin to create with intention, and therefore become intentional and mindful of the thoughts we allow to take preeminence over our lives and our actions and we will not allow negative or unproductive beliefs to rule our existence.

What can you do to become a creator of reality

First of all, when you are aware that you are a co creator of your reality both physically and vibrationally, anything that is meant to be for the good of humanity, you are the one who initiates and creates it into existence, instead of waiting for things to happen, you go ahead and begin them. When others who are bringing to reality what is more or less things that are not useful to them due to lack of awareness look to someone to follow, you lead the way. You start the ball rolling instead of waiting for someone else to make it roll. You take control of situations and direct them the way you desire them to go. You become the cause of events and experiences. You have the power to move the world at will because you make decisions and follow them.

It is in the moments of decision your destiny is shaped. Where there is no decision, there is no shaping of destiny. The experience of our life’s purpose involves making decisions to do what we desire to do. The divine will is expressed through us when we choose to co-create with it. We cannot avoid our role as chooser-creators in every moment of life. To decide is to cut off, deciding is to select one possibility to manifest while cutting off all others and shaping reality to that particular form.

We are always deciding whether we’re aware of it or not. When we do not decide to change things, we are deciding that they remain the same. Therefore, being a creator is not about whether you are deciding or not, but whether you are making conscious decisions. It’s about being aware when you have a decision to make, and then choosing intentionally which one to go for. Things do not change until we do. Creators do not wait for change to happen, they are the cause of the changes they like to see.

How to become a powerful creator of reality

Life is responding to us as we perceive it. There is no limitation until you perceive there is. In truth, there really are no limitations. Perceptions creates reality and whenever you perceive something to be, you create it to be. Hence when something appears to be a limitation but you do not perceive it as one, it will not become something that limits you. Having a mindset of no limitation is very powerful because it causes you to become unstoppable. When you perceive yourself to have no limitations, you will become totally irresistible to others.


Creating with freedom to free others

The reason why people resist is because they perceive that there is something we are lacking. They only want to accept or let in that which will complete them and not something that doesn’t fit because it is incomplete. Our perceptions create their perceptions. When we perceive limitation about ourselves, we will project it to others to perceive. We are the creator of all the resistance that we experience. When we perceive no limitation about ourselves, we project it to others and they have nothing to resist.

People want to be free and they are drawn to others who can make them feel free. You can’t free others unless you are free yourself. Being in the presence of someone who perceives no limitations is so liberating, because it makes you feel that you can be, do and have anything you desire. People who have no limitation have great influence over others because they are able to make people do anything they want. Sometimes, it feels like we are under their control as they are able to have their way with us and make us drop all our inhibitions.

We all are creators of reality and are creating everyday. It is important that we become mindful of our thoughts and actions so we can create things that are impactful to others and ourselves. We can become powerful creators of our realities when we are able to change the way we perceive and relate with all the things around us.





Emotional Instability


What is emotional instability?

Emotional Instability is a process in which your emotions extremely vacillate or fluctuate and you are having mood swings, this moment you are in different or angry and the next minute you are happy or sad.

Being emotionally unstable can be a sign of personality disorder, childhood trauma, depression or anxiety disorder.

Signs of emotional instability

1. Intense anger mood swings

This vary between dysphoria and euphoria and from manic self confidence to severe anxiety and irritability. It is important to recognise the signs and support them when necessary, it is also essential that while we render assistant, we don’t allow their behaviour to affect us and others.

2. Impulsive actions

They may do things that could harm themselves and others without thinking through or even realising. For example, they may drive extremely fast, or under the influence of drugs/ alcohol, their impulsive actions are much more likely to be geared towards danger, also prone to impulsive spending, they could suddenly decide to go on reckless spending and gambling, they have no self control and often not aware and don’t understand delayed gratification. These actions however makes them feel good for a moment because they are unstable.

3. Anger issues.

Difficulty controlling how they express anger, they may snap back and forth between being angry and being extremely happy, they are not able to control their emotions in a healthy way and sometimes a sudden outbursts of laughter or sadness and their anger is most often damaging, when they are angry, they become a danger to the people around them, they result to violent behaviour causing harm to themselves and others. The reactions also depends on individual, while some result to physical violence and destructive behaviour that cause other people harm, others may create uneasiness by maybe slamming the door, yelling and shouting or push objects.

4. Have relationship issues

People with emotional instability have problems maintaining relationships, they may feel affectionate towards a person and at the same time feel a sense of resentment towards them. They are in and out of relationships. There is always domestic violence and shouting matches, their relationship often involves intense argument and rage, split and coming back together again and the circle continues.

4. Extreme reactions

They react extremely to real and perceived situations.

How to effectively heal from emotional instability

The most effective way to tackle emotional instability may be through conscious, psychological and neurological realms. The brain stores memories about events and sensations and we also have the ego to contend with which is the mind’s way of regulating our physical activities. Ego make us feel everything is right here right now, but the brain think in terms of time and space, so much of what we think in reality is bullshit. Teaching people with this issue different breathing techniques can help to gradually alleviate their suffering.

Sometimes we get fired up because we have not been taught the information that is true nor have we been taught information in a way our brains can understand it as this may attempt to make people wake up to the fact that so much that they think is real is not real at all, it is bullshit. We are 95% unconscious but our brains doesn’t think it’s a conflict. You are a psychological being and if you try to  heal only from a psychological angle, you are going to experience a conflict because you are not going to understand that healing is also technical, meaning neurological, meaning that it’s going to take some time to create new memories and have those memories shut from the hippocampus, short term memory, to the long term memory which is the pre-cortex and the frontal lobes. It’s going to take time, we don’t know these stuff, we are taught in terms of our faith, we are taught that our power is outside of us, no it is not, our power is within us. The same infinite intelligence is inside you. It is important that those of us who are in pain, heal because we are in illusory world, the world of the material and until we learn the skills that we need before we can be able to resolve all the problems staring on our faces, to go inside is what we need to do, if you have so much ache, low self esteem, shame and other stuff which is not your stuff, religious grooming of acquiescing and enabling dysfunctional behaviour, where you can’t say no to what is not right for you, make you feel you are not good enough, people think if two people are sick of maybe cancer, one survives the other dies, it’s God that allows that, no. God is not choosing and dropping, we need to understand what is happening in the illusory world. If you are someone who has at some point thought maybe the power is within me you are a fortunate human being because majority can’t imagine life outside this illusion.

The ego triggers and override the brain (hippocampus), the ego reaction triggers us, we can’t think because cortisone adrenaline is flooding our brain stem and our body is having different responses and taking over the idea that you are responsible for what is happening in your body, this is not true, you can become conscious of what is happening and learn to navigate it and manipulate it and have more control deliberately by observing it from a high state of awareness, you can also calm your brain by learning how to meditate to make it become less sensitive to triggers. Too much identification with the ego is the major causes of emotional instability. The ego mind create fear, anxiety and worry, it is concerned with people’s judgement of you and that can trigger a reaction, cause people to  shame others and make them feel a sense of low self worth, become anxious in certain situations and lose confidence.

Spending time frequently with non judgemental and empathic people can also help.

Giving them opportunities to express themselves and show how they feel.

Listening to them and showing them love and compassion.







Why it’s important to raise your spiritual vibration and frequency..

Subtle energy system can affect your spiritual vibration and frequency and help create a shift in consciousness and bring about transformation.

Related: Breaking unhealthy soul ties


What is spiritual vibration

Spiritual vibration is a scale or a level in which a person’s feelings and emotions soares. The vibration rises high and also plummet. The feelings a person ruminates with at a particular time determines whether his vibration frequency will rise or drops.

Positive emotions rises the vibration positively and negative emotions decline the vibration. Whenever you are ruminating with negative thoughts and feelings as jealous, anger, hatred, anxiety, your vibration drops to a low frequency, these emotions are low vibration emotions. On the other hand, whenever you are thinking and feeling emotions of love, gratitude, confidence, your vibrational frequency tend to rise.

If you are feeling down, you are vibrating at a low frequency where you become prone to attracting negative situations, bad luck or misfortunes.

Related: Cognitive and emotional empathy  

How can we raise our vibration

Participating in activity you naturally love and are passionate about such as listening or singing the music you love can positively increase your vibrational frequency. Indulging in things that lift your spirit and make you happy, engaging in meditation, visualization, spending time with people you love, holding positive thoughts and reminiscing exciting past events, scenarios and circumstances can spontaneously raise your vibration to a high frequency.

However, regular communication with certain people whose energy is draining and toxic or who often dwell on negativity can pull down your own vibration to a very low level.

Some environment and objects also hold low vibration energy, when you come in contact with such, your energy vibration will drop. Same is true of places and objects with positive vibrational ambience and energy, they however, affect people positively.

Raising your vibration can also includes eating healthy food, engaging in self-care, self-love and wearing clothes and dressing up in a way that is pleasing to you to boost your self-confidence.

What does frequency mean

Frequency describes the number of waves cycles per unit of time. It’s a measure of the quality of a wave-like vibration. You can observe the different qualities of different frequencies in sound waves. A low frequency note has a certain feel to it, while a high frequency note has another feeling altogether. We refer to different frequencies of different people or environments when we say that a person or a place has “good vibes” or “bad vibes.” If you change your energetic level frequently everything else changes.

If you want to make significant shift in your life, it’s most effective when you frequently raise your vibration to a high level with positive emotions, when you shift yourself at the energetic level, you shift your conscious and subconscious thought processes.

When you constantly do things that keep your vibration at a high frequency you continuously attract luck and other good things to yourself, high vibration and high frequency when combine with gratitude birth an amazing life.